My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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