is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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