It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
