Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
