neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
