this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
