Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
