Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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