one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
