He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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