everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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