they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Randomize
