I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
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