They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
All the doctor said was why
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
