Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
