Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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