I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
