Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
