I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
So squirting runs in the family.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
