So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
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