Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
