Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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