Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
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