is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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