it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
