its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
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