Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
My balls are so social today.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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