Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
