too bad you live with your parents still
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
