I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
