Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
stop calling my apartment porn island.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I will be naked everywhere
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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