why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
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