Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
