First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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