Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
