absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
