No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
