i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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