69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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