I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
