I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
