i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
