I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
