So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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