I wanna passion pit in your ass
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Randomize
