So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
i believe in u and ur pee
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
