Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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