have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
