im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
