Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
