i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
You are a genius and a whore.
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