I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
