Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
